Everyone knows Amy Winehouse died.
But who is Justin Allen (23), Brett Linley (29), Matthew Weikert (29), Justus Bartett (27), Dave Santos (21), Jesse Reed (26), Matthew Johnson (21), Zachary Fisher (24), Brandon King (23), Christopher Goeke (23), and Sheldon Tate (27)? They are Marines that gave their lives this week for you. There is no media for them… not even a mention of their names. Honor THEM by reblogging this.
905
It’s not a score on a test, or the amount of friends I have on Facebook. 905 is the number of miles I will be living away from where I live right now…..for at least three years. A month or so ago, I found out that I was accepted into the Doctorate of Physical Therapy at the University of New England in Portland, Maine. So, deposit is in, apartment is found, and I’m officially moving on August 21st.
Talk about an adventure. Too bad I don’t like lobster ;)
But really, these next 3 years will be pretty great. I can’t believe that I’ll be able to do something that I’ve been dreaming about doing for a long time now.
Living out your career dreams, now that’s crazy….or is it?
The only thing that I’m having trouble with is the fact that I will be away from Paul. I don’t do well being “alone”. I’ve definintely been praying and already searching for a church to go to, and a community that I can be a part of. I know that especially during this crazy change in my life.
I really hope that I like Maine. I know it’s gorgeous, but I don’t know what the people are like there. Well, I have 3 years…..so I better like it!
Embrace
I know I don’t write in here a lot. Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing; I’m either super busy, or when I do have the free time, I like to use it hanging out with friends/family. Truth is, as much as I want to write, I can never figure out what to write about. So here I am again, just trying to figure out the words that I want to get out of my head and on to the keyboard.
Life is confusing. Straight up.
It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that never seems to remain at one level or speed. Don’t get me wrong, uncertainties and change is good (at times), but it’s also exhausting. I feel as though I’m going 1000mph and standing still at the same time. I want so badly to just get my life settled, but the thought of the unknown lingers around. Where I will be, what I will be doing, when I will be ready to start my life. Hmmmm.
Okay, I just read that last part, and it’s true….I see this part of my life as just a beginner’s phase. This is MY life, right here, right now. I need to start living!
More often than not, I’m looking to the future….what’s going to happen next….and forget about the here and now. I tired of running away from my life, and just waiting for something to happen.
This is an amazing moment in my life. A transitional phase that’s for sure, but such an amazing period of growth and development. I need to embrace it!
I don’t want to just continue on waiting for what is to come. I want to map out my own life, following and listening to God, allowing him to guide me through this part (and the rest) of my life. I don’t want to follow some map that is already laid out for me…I want to create my own path in life. I’m not a carbon copy of anyone, I am my own person, and love who I am.
Decsion making
It’s amazing what a text can do.
Let’s start off with a short story:
So, boyfriend (Paul) is an amazing man, inside and out. He’s honest, loving, brave, and pushes me to be my absolute best in every way. He is also a Marine. While I absolutely love that he has fought for our country, I have been counting down the days until his contract ends (May 2012). About a month or two ago, he told me about an idea he had of possibly volunteering to go for a year-long tour overseas. Well, me being my selfish me, I was not a fan of this, but also wanted to be the supportive girlfriend, so I told him that whatever he did, I would be okay with it.
So this was looming over my head for months, and while I talked about it with him on multiple occaisions, I ended up avoiding talking about it (as did he) more often than not, delaying the inevitable. So yeah, saying that I’ve been thinking about it a lot is an understatement. Paul has drill one weekend of every month and before April’s drill, he told me that he was going to find out and decide whether or not he was going to go to Afghanistan. Yeah, that weekend, I was freaking out. That Sunday night, while I was at work, I finally recieved that text. “I hope you can support my decsion”….yeah, he likes to torture me. Immediately I responded with a “which is….?????” and he stated that he turned them down. I nearly screamed with joy! Of course I would support his decision! :) Then I received the best text of all ”I hope you know how much you mean to me”. Knowing that I was a part of him making his decision is beyond me. How is it possible that I am a reason for someone to make such a crucial life-decision?!? It’s crazy, it’s unexplainable, and it’s pretty darn sweet that I still get to see him every weekend :)
Strong Jaw
Okay so I was asked to give some advice to someone preparing for jaw surgery. So I wrote what I thought was going to be short, but continued writing. Anyways I know this is completely random, but it’s fun to share:
“I had the opportunity (your decision on whether good or bad) to experience jaw surgery twice. One year with my sister getting it, and the year after I myself had jaw surgery (darn genetics). For my sister, I remember her being REALLY swollen and when I walked into the hospital she wrote on a dry erase board, “don’t do it”. Comforting right? She isn’t the world’s best with pain, but I think the worst was her swelling….she was swollen for a LONG time. I don’t remember much of her experience (I was probably trying to block it out so it wouldn’t freak me out) but I do remember one experience where she tried blending up a boca burger (she’s a vegetarian) and while sucking up the concoction with the syringe (BIG syringe…..you’ll get it), it kind of exploded (top came off, boca everywhere). The only thing I remember her having a lot of was vegetable broth (I’m sure she had a lot more, I just don’t remember). As for me…..going into the hospital and getting it done actually wasn’t as nerve-wrecking as I had expected. Best advice right before the procedure….keep yourself calm. It makes things a lot more relaxing and as comfortable as possible. I don’t remember a whole lot of waking up other than the fact that they told me that they had wired me shut (there was a possibility that they weren’t going to have to). I’m pretty sure I went right back to sleep after that. The Morphine does what it needs to, knocks you out so that you don’t feel it. The only part that I remember that was not the best experience was two times when I had to stand up after the surgery (to use the restroom). My stomach does not do well with blood in it….so yes, it is VERY possible (but a pretty nasty sight) to throw up with your jaw wired shut. I think I was only there for a night at the hospital and then they sent me home with a packet of do’s and don’ts and wire clippers (which were thankfully never used). Being home had it’s ups and downs. I like mixing different things, so trying to figure out what tasted good to eat was fun. Of course shakes were good…..and if you can find a good protein power, get it. Yes I had ensure….the chocolate fudge was best, but that’s not saying much. I became a PRO at making smoothies however, BUT you need to remember to STRAIN everything. Seeds are your enemy. My best friend for those six weeks was a mini-blender called the Magic Blender. There were two foods that work really well for blending: apple crisp and also pasta with sauce….the pasta and sauce was the best! DON’T try and peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Haha. I had egg drop soup also (strained), which was really good. There were only a couple bad experiences. You might have a feeling of claustraphobia because you are unable to open your mouth. I had a couple of anxiety attacks (also because I was unable to open my mouth). To try and take my mind off, I played cards with family. The medicine (liquid oxycodone) tastes SO bad…which is probably why I only used it for 1 week. Not being able to brush the inside of your teeth is no fun…pretty nasty actually. If you asked my family, they would say that there was a LOT less swelling for me than my sister. I do (even after a few years) have an area above my lip that still does not have full feeling to it due to nerve damage (but we knew that would possibly happen). Healing takes time, even after the wires are cut. Your jaw muscles atrophy so much that you cannot open your mouth nearly at all (but trust me, that didn’t stop me from painfully eating food).Would I do it again if I had to….probably. My mouth, due to scar tissue, still has some problems, but it’s a lot better than it was! Now that I think about it, texting will be your best friend now also (I didn’t have text at the time). Plus, it makes for fun stories after you’re healed! :)”
Loner
Have you ever gone to church alone? I’m not saying it’s always on the top of my list, but the days when I have to go alone (basically when no one comes down to Ann Arbor or I don’t visit other people), I feel as though these moments, God intend just for me. I remember the first time that I went to church on my own, I was freaked out. I am SO not a fan of big groups of people, especially when I do not know anyone. It was here in Ann Arbor and none of my family goes to church, nor do they want to even when I ask, so I knew I was on my own. Of course, first thing I did was send a text to my Aunt. She responded by saying that sometimes she like it better that way, that it’s more personal and to just soak up the teaching and worship louder. Nowadays, there are only 1-2 weekends a month that I go alone, but I don’t fear it, I cherish it. Honestly, try it out sometime if you haven’t already. Don’t think about being alone, because you’re not….you’re never alone. Use this as a personal time with God. Anyways, the reason why I’m going on this random talk is because I went to my church by myself (family didn’t want to go), and it was EXACTLY what I’d been talking about lately. The talk was about how we all, as Christians, have a universal call to love others through serving and sacrifice. There’s so much I can say about it, but I’m just going to say how perfect this talk was for me, and how grateful I was to hear it.
Bike
Just bought a new (well new to me, it’s used) road bike.
So pumped for the spring now!
Now, I have to find some ridic bike paths to play on once the weather warms up again!
Can’t wait to take some fun bike trips with Paul :)
Caption:
“Katherine Cathey was expecting a phone call from her husband, Marine 2nd. Lt. Jim Cathey, so she could tell him if their baby would be a boy or a girl. Instead, she got a knock at the door — the knock every military family dreads. When his body finally arrived at the airport in the Marine’s hometown of Reno, Katherine never wanted to leave his side. ‘You take for granted the last night you spend with them,’ she said. ‘I think I took it for granted. This was the last night I’ll have to sleep next to him.’ She said about her all night vigil by Jim’s casket the night before his burial. Major Steve Beck prepares for the final inspection of 2nd Lt. James J. Cathey’s body, only days after notifying Cathey’s wife of the Marine’s death in Iraq. “
The night before the burial of her husband’s body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of ‘Cat,’ and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. “I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it,” she said. “I think that’s what he would have wanted.”
Breaks my heart and at the same time comforts me with the sense of honor I have for knowing many Marines
Life….or something like it
I’ve sucked at staying in contact…
With friends
With family
Journaling
and here.
There are so many thing that I have been learning.
Faith, Trust, Love, Respect, Humility, Communication.
It’s amazing how many times we can build on our learning.
Just when I think there is no more to learn, God like to remind me that He is always the one in control.
I have no idea what to think of life anymore.
I honestly don’t think about tomorrow because I’m so caught up in today.
I feel a little bit like my life is a mix of when I was younger and just a year or two ago….and I think that it’s a good thing.
I know this is random, by this is how my brain has been working lately…A lot of randomness with hope and love.
I’ve come to realize that I love learning about life. Life and relationships. I want to know and learn about everything and everyone. I love that fact that God made me a relational being.
My struggles come and go. One day I feel as though I have no struggles whatsoever, and the next, I cannot even count how many struggles I have. I need to let God completely take over my life, including my struggles. I tend to think that I can control my struggles, but the fact that they keep recurring obviously tells me that I have NO control.
One that I need to get out in the open that is a HUGE struggle for me…comparing.
Time and time again I compare myself to other people. Accomplishments, relationships, personality, body, life in general. I think it all stems back to me no thinking that I am good enough. And that is NOT TRUE. We are alldifferent. What kind of life would we live if we were all the same? If I can’t accept it for myself, I would be a hypocrite to say to other’s that they are beautiful and that God made them for a specific purpose just the way they are.
Guess there’s just more to learn about life.
She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She’s a good girl, crazy ‘bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too
